Impermeable Obliviousness System

Dear Reader.

It is very hot in Mamallapuram (Mahabalipuram)... although I still can't pronounce it correctly. I just start with a "Mah" sound and mumble through the rest. I would probably be more hot if my head wasn't as bald as a cue ball. Now when I sweat, I feel it from the pointy peak of my skull, not just the forehead. I use a bandana/schmatza cloth to cover it for most of the day along with a hat that I stole from Tom. At this point, I'd think that he doesn't want it back.

This head shaving incident was secondary to a long walk that Monica and I took while we were staying in Tirupati, Andra Pradesh. Michele (bless her heart) was delivering biscuits to deaf school children and besides her saintly qualities, DID not want to get out of bed early.

So up we got and 11 km we walked -- straight uphill for the most part. We dripped sweat on sacred stairs that were orange with bright yellow and red face powder. When we arrived at the top, we secured beverages and food and fought to get a place in line for the Kayanna Katta. KK is the place to go to shave your head for Vishnu. As a result, almost everyone in Tirumala was bald. It was amazing.

M very badly wanted to watch and Monica was worried that she would be shaved by an overzealous brahmin. They both waited in line with me and countless other hairy indians. We were shuttled through various holding areas for about an hour, then I got my ticket and a fresh razor blade. I removed my shirt and sat down on the white tile.

We were surrounded by screaming children, whose parents had volunteered their hair for shaving. Fathers grasped kids by the neck to ensure the shaving wallah didn't remove any excess pieces of scalp. I dozed my head in a bucket of water and took a deep breath.

In less than 5 minutes, a man with a straight razor and fresh ten rupie note completely removed all of my hair. I breathed deeply and hoped that Vishnu was watching happily (not momentarily consorting). When I opened my eyes, I saw hair flying everywhere and no blood. My beard was about a month long -- he took that too.

I followed Mothers, daughters, aunties, uncles, nieces, sons, nephews, fathers all bald and happy to the nearest exit. We tried not to step on razor blades or slip on any of the wet hair that flooded the floor. There was no mirror so I had to use M's sunglasses. We took pictures and celebrated our luck with a Pepsi and crackers.

Vishnu must be smiling... or laughing... or pretty pissed off. I'll let you know when I hear from him next.